With Thanksgiving being just a couple of days away, I wanted to take some time today to talk about some things that I am thankful for, a practice that is beneficial to observe every so often, just to remind oneself of the good things in life. There is so much negativity in the world, but by focusing on the positives, we can try to at least combat some of the negativity and keep it from infiltrating our lives, so without further ado, here’s what I’m thankful for in 2017. I’m thankful that the apartments I live in have animals inside the walls. I never really went camping as a child, so last month when the squirrel scratched a hole through my bedroom wall, exposing the inside of my apartment to the great outdoors, I felt closer to nature than I ever had before. I’m also thankful that it took the maintenance workers more than a week to come in and put a board up over the hole, giving me the gift of sleepless nights, terrified that the squirrel would scratch through the pathetic piece of cardboard I had duct taped to the wall, and I would wake up to the painful reality of having my eyes clawed out.
Another thing that I’m thankful for in 2017 is all of the dumb commercials on television. I would guess that I easily watch twelve hours of live television every week, between football and basketball games, so I see a lot of commercials, too many if we’re being honest, but unlike most, the dumb ones don’t bother me at all. Whenever I’m at my grandparents house, watching the Alabama football game, my grandpa will mute the TV whenever there is a commercial break, but whenever I’m at home, I’ll pay attention to the commercials, not because of the quality of the commercials themselves, but because I like the way they make me feel, with a false sense of superiority. First, knowing that commercials are made for the masses, seeing a commercial and recognizing it as stupid confirms to me that my intelligence and maturity are at a much higher level than the average people in the country, for whom the dumb commercial was made. Also, it gives me hope in knowing that if the idiots that made these dumb commercials can make a living doing so, then surely I, who is much funnier than they, can do so as well. Now I just need to get in touch with some TV producers so I can pitch them my brilliant ideas, so if you could make that happen, I’ll reserve a special spot for you on next year’s thankful list.
Finally, I’m thankful for garbage trucks. It may seem like a strange one to round out my list, but without them, I wouldn’t be waken up every Monday at three in the morning by the loud clanging as they empty the dumpsters at my apartment. Is there anything more refreshing than being jolted awake in the middle of the night by a terrifyingly loud noise? I think not. The premature wake up call gives me the opportunity to start my week in a bad mood, thus completely removing the pressure from the looming work week to do so, and for that, I am truly thankful.