Imagine being able to pick your own birthday. Personally, I love my birthday and wouldn’t want to change it, because my birthday unofficially kicks off my favorite time of the year. I was born in early September, so my birthday always falls around labor day, which is nice because I get a long weekend, and that’s the opening weekend of college football. Then, a week later NFL football kicks off, and pretty soon the weather starts to get cooler and I can venture outside of my air conditioned apartment to enjoy the great outdoors without wanting to kill myself, and then before you know it, the holidays are here. I think hands down, September through December is easily the greatest third of the year, so I’m happy with my birthday falling within that time frame, but there are people out there who aren’t as lucky. I have a friend at work who is born in the middle of January, and she absolutely hates it because like most normal people, of which I’m not included, she despises the cold weather and feels as though she’s getting ripped off by having her birthday in the middle of one of the coldest times of the year when you can’t really go out and do anything.
Take for instance her birthday this year. It fell on a Saturday, the day after our work was closed because it snowed, which literally meant you couldn’t really get out and do anything. In Minnesota, the snow isn’t a problem, but in Memphis, the city all but shuts down when God decides to shake the dandruff out of his hair, so I can get why someone would feel a little gipped having their birthday in these conditions. Somehow we started discussing this a couple of weeks ago, and she decided that it was in her best interest to change her birthday to exactly six months ahead, which just so happened to be the following week, so, unsure of proper birthday changing etiquette, I decided to play it safe and go along with the birthday that she was now identifying as her own, you know, to be politically correct. It is 2018 after all.
The fake birthday arrived and I stopped on the way to work to get a balloon and some cupcakes, which may seem like a small gesture, but given my unabashed hatred for balloons, it’s probably the nicest thing I’ve ever done for anyone, other than the time someone asked me for directions outside of the grocery store, and instead of ignoring them completely, said, “I don’t know.” When I got to work, my boss saw me carrying in the balloon and cupcakes, and always eager to insert herself into the loop, asked me whose birthday it was, so I told her. After arriving and seeing the cupcakes and balloon on her desk, my friend put up a picture on Facebook which prompted a bunch of people to wish her a happy birthday, which as you know, is the official ruler of your birthday, so it was nice to play a small part in helping make the birthday switch a reality. Our boss even bought her lunch, which might have made me feel a little guilty about the birthday lie had she not promised lunch on multiple occasions with no follow through, but as it were, I was just glad one of us finally got a free tasteless baked potato from McAllister’s. I guess I shouldn’t be bashing McAllister’s food as apparently the cupcakes I brought weren’t so great, as evidenced by three out of four being left on the back counter untouched when the birthday girl left for the day, but that’s just the kind of petty that I am. Any way, I tell you that story to say this; if you’re unhappy with your birthday, you don’t have to live that way anymore. If you want to change your birthday then do it, it can be done. We proved that last week.