I Thought the World was Ending

I woke up this morning which was completely unexpected given the circumstances. I truly thought the world was going to end because yesterday was the first full day of NFL football and I didn’t watch a single game. If that’s not a sign of the apocalypse I don’t know what is. It’s not that I didn’t want to watch football, of course I did I just had to work, a necessary downfall of adulthood. I heard about the games though and for the most part the teams I thought would win did although I didn’t write about it, again because I had to work. Hey, this is turning out to be a pretty useful excuse but I’m off today so don’t fret I’ll watch the football games tonight and write about them tomorrow. The only college game I publicly picked was Arkansas over TCU and I was right on that one but you can hold your applause. Even though TCU was ranked and the Hogs were not it wasn’t all that inconceivable that a young and talented Arkansas team could beat an overrated team from Texas.

For the first time that I can remember I didn’t get to watch the Dallas Cowboys season opener but from what I’ve heard it was a replay of so many games I’d seen before. Apparently we kept the game close and had a chance to win the game but dumb mental mistakes allowed time to run out as we drove down the field before giving our stud kicker the chance to win the game. So I missed the game? We get like two or three carbon copies of that every year so I’m sure I’ll catch the next one. I picked Dallas to win but that was more out of bias than an objective comparison of the two teams competing. The Vikings beat the Titans yesterday and I was wrong on that one as well so we’re off to a great start. The two that I were wrong on that I’m most surprised by is the Cardinals losing to the Bradyless Patriots and then Detroit beating Andrew Luck and the Colts. I was right on the Raiders, Bengals, and the Chiefs but those games were a lot closer than I expected.

So the Cowboys lost yesterday but I still had fantasy football to buoy my spirits when I got home right? What could possibly go wrong? I had the best graded draft in the league with the most projected points out of everyone and this week’s match up I was projected to win fairly easily. When I got home after work and went to the computer to check how my team, Dak Lives Matter was doing (yes I’m a dinosaur who uses a computer to check fantasy football rather than the app because I’m terrible with usernames and the app locked me out for guessing wrong too many times) I was shocked. I had less points than everybody else in the league and it wasn’t even close. The first running back I drafted, Devonta Freeman got me three points and the great Brandon Marshall was generous enough to get me four. Oh and the Kansas City defense that I thought was a great steal late in the draft got me a whopping one point against the (read with sarcasm) high powered offense of the San Diego Chargers. So I’ve still got my quarterback and my best receiver left to play today but I’m down by forty points so I don’t foresee writing about a miracle comeback tomorrow morning. As for tonight’s games I’m picking the Steelers over the Redskins and the Rams over the 49ers although that game I think is just going to be terrible. If you’re really into a lot of changes of possessions and mediocre quarterbacks who make awful throws on a regular basis then this is the game for you. I want the Steelers to crush the Washington but I need the Redskins to do well offensively since Kirk Cousins is my fantasy quarterback. That’s right as a Cowboys fan I did the unthinkable and drafted a Redskins player for my fantasy team. This is where I’ll end the blog so you can go and ponder my idiocy.


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