Stranger Things

Today when I woke up I had no idea what I was going to write about so I went about my day hoping something interesting might happen or inspiration would strike and I would be able to get 500 words or so out of it. Throughout the morning nothing noteworthy happened but then this afternoon I received a very strange email handed to me on a silver platter and all of a sudden I had a story to share. When I was a realtor in Florida a few years ago I met a couple who lived in New York but had a home in Port St. Lucie that they visited occasionally and they hired me to go by that house every week to check and make sure that everything was okay like nothing was flooded and the electricity hadn’t cut off. I had that responsibility for more than two years but since I moved to Memphis a few months ago I obviously have been relieved of my duties. The email was sent to me from the couple who owned the home in Florida. They had just gotten off the phone with one of the security guards that worked the gate into their nice exclusive community and he had informed them that I, Kendall Curtis, had used their name and address to gain entrance into the neighborhood. The email was very nice and they inquired if perhaps I was visiting my in-laws in Florida and was possibly looking for a place to wait out the hurricane. I was not and am not in Florida, but nestled safely in Memphis (something nobody has probably ever said before). If I’m the kind of person who would sneak in to a nice community and seek shelter in a house where I knew the owners were a thousand miles away then I would deserve to be blown away in the storm, however I’m not that type of person but that was nice of them to be so understanding had I been.

I know from my years going in and out of that gated community that you must show a photo ID confirming your identity before security will allow you to enter. In addition to proving who you are your name must also be on the list of approved guests by the homeowners and again if you’re not on the list you’re not getting in. I called the security line for that neighborhood immediately because theoretically somebody had a driver’s license with my name on it and was using it to gain access to somewhere that they shouldn’t be able to. The security guard I spoke with was somewhat helpful and although wasn’t the guard on duty at the time Kendall Curtis allegedly entered the community he would speak to his supervisor about accessing the video feed to get a picture of the person claiming to be me. He also assured me that he would send a patrolman by the house I used to check on so they could make sure nobody was there. A few minutes later I got a phone call from a different security guard who had checked out the house and said that nobody was inside and there was no sign of any disturbance on the outside.

I was relieved on behalf of the couple I’d gotten to know over the past few years but was still completely worried about how someone knew the address to give and had gotten an ID with my name on it. It is one thing for someone to steal a credit card number and impersonate you by spending your money online or routing money from your bank account but it’s pretty frightening thinking that there is someone who is pretending to be me in person. The guard told me that their video feed had been spotty because of the impending hurricane but he would try to retrieve the data if they had it and would call me back if they got a picture of the impersonator. I thanked him for his time and asked him to please remove my name for the list of approved guests into that community so that the fake Kendall, whatever he is up to won’t be able to use me as a way to get in there again. It’s been several hours and I haven’t received a follow up call so I’m assuming that there is no picture of the person who was pretending to be me. If you’ll indulge me I would like to close with a bit of knowledge. I don’t condone identity theft in any way, shape, or form but there are millions of people in the world with much more exciting lives than mine. So whoever you are, fake Kendall, you chose poorly. Literally.

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