My Weekly Ritual: Predicting the Unpredictable

Yesterday I came as close as I’ve ever come to perfection whilst picking football games this year. I got sixteen out of seventeen right, a 94 percent grade so I should be ecstatic right? Well I’m not. Virginia Tech ruined a perfect day of picks and the grudge I’m holding towards them now won’t soon be forgotten. Two weeks ago the University of Miami was undefeated and for the last two weeks I’ve picked them to get upset and I was right on both occasions, but I can’t revel in those picks because freaking Virginia Tech exists to ruin my day. Now that I’ve made my dislike for that school abundantly clear we can now move on to the next pressing order of business, which is making my picks for the NFL this weekend. Predicting the outcome of every NFL game each week is pretty impossible, like trying to predict the weather. What? That’s what a meteorologist does? Scratch that, predicting NFL games is pretty impossible like trying to predict whether a Nicholas Cage movie will be good. Every time you are reminded what a horrible actor he is, he’ll be in a really good movie and you get a false sense of hope about him, much in the same way that every time a terrible team like LA looks bad to start the season, they end up getting unlikely wins and leaving me completely dumbfounded as what to think about them.

I am a huge Dallas Cowboys fan, as I’m sure you know, but for the second straight week I’m picking my favorite team to lose. These picks are done objectively and without bias and if you think that makes me a bad fan then so be it. I was wrong last week when I had Dallas losing to Cincinnati and I hope that I’m wrong this week but I think Green Bay will be too tough at home. Packers get the win. Picking the Browns and Titans game is like picking your favorite stepchild when you don’t like either one. I’m picking the Browns on the road to get their first win of the season over an inconsistent Tennessee team. The Eagles/Redskins is a tough one for me because I think it will be a really tight game, but I’ll go with Washington at home. I think the 1-3 Jaguars are better than their record shows, or they should be any way, so I’ll take them on the road to beat the 1 win Bears. I never thought at this point in the season that the Panthers and Saints would each only have one win and I would’ve looked ahead to today’s match up as a game to watch that would have big playoff implications down the road but that’s just not the case. I’m going to give Drew Brees and the Saints the home win today. The Steelers and Dolphins is a game that I think might be closer than one might think based on their respective records but I’ll go with the safer choice and take Pittsburgh on the road.

This is Tom Brady’s second week back following his suspension and I believe he will still be playing with an unstoppable anger in him again today. I’m picking the Patriots to get the win at home over the Bengals and I don’t think it will even be close. From what I’ve seen of Baltimore this year they haven’t looked all that great so I’ll pick the Giants at home over the Ravens. I haven’t seriously thought the Rams would win a single game to this point and that isn’t changing today. I’ll take the Lions and Matt Stafford to try and further prove my original belief that the LA is the worst team in the NFL by beating them pretty badly at home. I’m picking the Bills to beat the 49ers at home and a great Falcons team to lose to Seattle on the road. The Raiders are really hot right now and I think they’ll keep it rolling by beating the Chiefs at home this afternoon.

The Sunday night game tonight should be a pretty lame match up between the Colts and the Texans. I’m not even sure if I’ll make an effort to watch this game but if I do I’m expecting to see a relatively low scoring game with the Texans getting the win. I had such high hopes for Indy coming into the season but they have continually proven that they aren’t the same team from a couple years ago so that’s why tonight I think they’ll lose to a pretty mediocre Houston team. And finally, tomorrow night we have the game between the mighty 1-4 Jets and the unstoppable 2-3 Cardinals. For the most part New York and Arizona have both looked abysmal and while it pains me that I wrongly picked the Cardinals to win the Super Bowl, I think they will win the Monday night game tomorrow. If there is one thing I’m absolutely sure of today is that the Vikings won’t be making a fool out of me. I think I have picked against them every week and each time they have proven me wrong, but fortunately, today they are in a bye week so I can at least take some solace in that.


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