If you’re doing this, you’re an idiot.

Last night I was driving home and it was taking longer than usual. It was about eight so all of the rush hour traffic would have disappeared hours ago, but here I found myself slowly moving along the interstate. As I the highway curved I was able to see past the dirty red van in front of me to be hit with the realization that there was no traffic but rather this guy was driving way too slow, but luckily I’m about to get my revenge. You see the idiot in the van had a company logo and phone number all classy like on his back window, an advertisement for a company called Cowboy Construction, a company that I will never call and urge you to do the same. My theory is that if this guy can’t drive the speed limit, then it’s a safe bet that he’s going to be moving slow at work doing your bathroom remodel and will have to keep pushing the finishing deadline back and back to accommodate his turtle like pace.

I could have called this guy up and gave him a piece of my mind since his number was stuck to his filthy window and I was behind him long enough to have it etched in my brain forever but I’m not the biggest fan of confrontation and find it much easier to hide behind my computer and write about it. That experience last night brought me to a realization that I would never call anyone who advertises their business on their personal car. I’ve never been driving down the road and been cut off by a Saturn with a sticker on the side advertising Felicia’s Flowers and thought to myself, “I really want to give this person my money.” If anything, having the name and phone number of your business on your car is a terrible idea. If there’s ever a time when someone you don’t know and have never met is going to get incredibly mad, maybe even to the point where they hate you it’s going to be whilst driving behind you. Road rage is a real problem and if you’re being honest you would probably admit to getting as many calls from people yelling at you for your driving as you do from potential customers.

A few years ago I was a struggling real estate agent, desperate for business, and I could have gone the route of so many realtors before me and put a giant magnet with my face and phone number on the side of my car, but even someone like me who has made many mistakes, wouldn’t allow myself to make that one. I’ve never once made a decision to give any company a shot while driving and seeing their advertisement on a car, but I’ve certainly made the decision numerous times to never give them a chance as my small act of vengeance towards a bad driver. Surely I’m not the only person who feels this way so if you’re one of the morons making this terrible mistake just do the smart thing and peel off the stickers or take off the magnets. It’s not too late to save yourself from my harsh judgement.


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