Good morning and happy Saturday everyone. For all you football fans out there, allow me to reintroduce you to the sun. It has been rising on the weekends, you just couldn’t see it from your man cave. I know today is tough for a lot of people, a Saturday without real football, a day you thought would never get here; like on the first day of a vacation where it seems like you have all the time in the world and suddenly you look up and it’s time to get back to reality. Sure, there is the pit stop at the world’s largest pickle factory on the way home, but it really doesn’t feel like part of your vacation. That is what the Army/Navy game is today, a mediocre last ditch effort to preserve the magic that is Saturday in college football. Now before you go and Colin Kaepernick me, and rush to judgements about how disloyal I am to the military, take a moment to be honest with yourself. Unless you went to one of those schools, are thinking about going to one of those schools, or served in one of those two branches of the military, I don’t think you really care about the game today.
When is the last time you ever sat through an entire Army/Navy game? I have nothing against these two schools, or the military, but people pretending to get excited for this game is absolutely ridiculous. I know spending time with your kids is one of the most mind numbingly boring ways you can choose to spend your day, but if you suck it up, you will score major points with the spouse, and you can get back to college football next week with the start of bowl season. And if we’re being completely honest, mind numbingly boring is a step up from what today’s football game will be anyway. If you’re lying to yourself and pretending to care about this game, I have a simple request for you; please take this lie detector test. It’s a one question test, very simple that should require minimal effort if deep down this game means something to you. Name three players on the field today, and no, honor and integrity don’t count, despite what the jerseys may say. Just name three and I’ll gladly eat a heaping plate of crow for dinner.
The only thing surrounding this game that might provide any entertainment is the fact that president elect, Donald Trump will be in attendance, and we all know what a penchant he has for emotionally tweeting things that are oftentimes idiotic. You can believe that I’ll be keeping an eye on my twitter timeline today to see if he completely offends an entire branch of the military. “In line five minutes to get hot dog. More like cold dog! Sad! Hope they are quicker in battle!” That is just one of the many possibilities we could see coming from twitter handle, @realDonaldTrump over the course of the game this afternoon. Whether you think the game is worth watching or not, I think we can all agree that it is truly a magnificent time we live in, one where we can openly mock the president and he sees it directly on his phone. If one day I should disappear without a trace, you know where to begin your search, that is if you want me back in the first place.