My Wife is Leaving Me

My wife is leaving me. Maybe the blog isn’t the best place to break the news, but over the past few months it’s become a haven for me, to talk about anything that I want, to share things both good and bad, so I feel I owe it to myself and my readers to talk about this. Let me just say this, we’ve had some good times together, my wife and I, over the past three years, but there comes a time in every relationship, where the spouse needs to go visit her parents, and that is happening tomorrow. She’ll be back in a week, so it’s not as bad as I made it out to be, and I apologize for that. I’m a jerk that likes getting link clicks on the blog. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that this time apart will be a good thing, for me at least. There are so many things that I’m going to get to do that I normally don’t, so in that respect, it’s going to be fun.

I can’t tell you how many mornings I roll out of bed and go into the kitchen for a drink or to make breakfast and I get scolded by my wife for not having a shirt on. Apparently a hairy chest in a food prep area is a health hazard, but for the next week I’m going to live it up, throw caution to the wind, and pour a bowl of cereal shirtless. I’m not stopping there, oh no, that is just the beginning of the wild oats I’ll be sowing. I’m going to a see a movie on Saturday with my dad, a musical. My wife hates musicals. Take that! It may seem odd that I feel I’ll get the best sleep of my life without my wife next to me, but with my cold natured spouse gone for the week, I’ll be sleeping soundly with the fan on high. I told you it was going to get crazy.

One night, I might even go out to dinner at buffalo wild wings. I really don’t like the place, but my wife hates it so much that she put it at the top of her list on restaurants she won’t go to anymore, so in the spirit of possibly never eating there again, maybe I’ll go eat some mediocre food. I’m not great about starting the dishwasher and my wife told me she fears she’ll return home to a packed dishwasher full of dirty dishes, but I assured her she need not worry, I’ll just leave them piled in the sink instead. Who says I’m not a great husband? In all seriousness it will be weird being alone for a week, and I’m definitely going to miss my wife, but I’m definitely going to take full advantage of doing the things I’m otherwise prohibited from doing. I hope she has a great time in Florida, because I know I’ll be having a fabulous time here in the kitchen, without a shirt on.

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