This is Shocking

This morning I did a couple of things; first I went to the grocery store to buy my food for the week, so I wouldn’t die of starvation, then I went to the bookstore, to browse all of the recently released books that I can’t afford to buy, but rather take pictures of so I can add them to my amazon wish list for future purchase. When I got out of the car at Barnes & Noble my right arm touched the side of the car and I was greeted with an unpleasant shock. When I pushed the door closed, another shock got me by surprise. I hate getting shocked by my car but apparently my red shirt was a fantastic conductor of electric energy, so good in fact that I got shocked twice. I didn’t even know it was possible to be shocked two times. I always thought that after the first one it was over, but I’m sad to report that my preconceived notions are apparently untrue.

Getting shocked after exiting a vehicle is one of the worst feelings in the world, one I try to avoid at all costs. I don’t know how I can beat the shock so if you’re wise to this information I would greatly appreciate it. If I know it’s going to happen and I’m wearing long sleeves, I tuck my hand inside, forming a makeshift glove that I then with the fear of God in me, use to close my car door, but that is not enough. If I avoid the initial shock there is always the great likelihood that I will get my comeuppance when I open the door to whatever store I am entering into. Until you are in this situation you can’t really appreciate how much metal there is around you at all times; the car door, the metal door handle to the store, all waiting to remind you that you shouldn’t have worn a sweater.

It’s getting to the point now where I avoid stopping at places I need to go out of the fear of being shocked. If I need gas, I don’t stop at a station while I’m wearing the long sleeved shirt that guarantees a jolt of electricity through my body. I skip it and hope that I can make it home and back to the gas station again when I’m wearing a harmless t-shirt. I realize that I’m making much too big of a deal out of this, but it really gets to me, being shocked at every stop I make. I look like an idiot, closing my car door with my fit or curling my fingers into my palm, anticipating the pain before I open a door. I think the anticipation is worse than the actual event, like at the doctor’s office looking at the needle before the shot, and I don’t know how to get over it. I use dryer sheets that are supposed to eliminate the static on clothing but apparently it is completely useless, so if you ever invite me over, and you see me hesitantly waiting in my car before I drive away, unable to enter your home, please know that I probably don’t hate you, but am terrified of the shock I might receive if I get out of my car and come inside.

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