The Height of Laziness

I feel like I’ve been pretty open and honest about my laziness, never the one to shy away from taking the easy way out, always in search of ways to minimize the effort I put forth, but since my wife has been out of town it has come to my attention that I’m actually even lazier than I’d previously thought. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, maybe it is, but again, I’m much too lazy to do anything about it. The height of my laziness during this period occurred on Sunday morning as I did my grocery shopping for the week. I put the necessities into the shopping cart, the food to prepare my lunches and dinners, and I should have left the store then, a responsible adult, but instead I walked down the back aisle of Kroger, past the orange juice and the milk, and placed a gallon of store brand unsweetened tea among the rest of my bounty.

This may not seem like a big deal to you; I’m sure lots of people purchase tea at the grocery store, but for me, I have all the necessary instruments to make my favorite drink at home without spending money. For christmas, my wife got me a tea maker. That’s right, the traditional way of making tea took more effort than I was willing to exert, so my wife gave me a gift that would ultimately make my life easier. No more waiting for the tea to soak in hot water, then waiting for it to cool before drinking the delicious liquid. All I have to do is pour some water into the tea maker, put a couple of tea bags in the top filter like a coffee maker, press a button, and in less than ten minutes fill the remainder of the pitcher with cold water and voila, it’s ready to drink. Since receiving the tea maker I have dutifully made tea this way, but since my wife has gone and my laziness has risen to new heights I took the easy way out and wasted money on the ready to drink product.

I now face a dilemma. The gallon of tea is dangerously low and I know that tomorrow I will need more, so I’ll either have to go back to making it myself, which tastes much better than the store brand, or stop by Walmart on my way home from work and waste another few dollars. I don’t know why I’m even pretending this is some sort of tough decision, perhaps I’m trying to appear as if I have some sense of responsibility, but as we all know, I do not. Why make a pitcher of tea that will last me a day, when I can put forth zero effort and have a gall of tea that will last me longer? I just hope I’m not too deep into the laziness that I won’t be able to curb it once my wife returns home from Florida, because I know she won’t be too happy about it.

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