Crazy People at Walmart

IMG_3466The Walmart where my wife and I normally do our grocery shopping got robbed today, so in an attempt to maybe see some excitement we moved our shopping day up to today rather than waiting until tomorrow like we normally do. By the time we arrived there was no big scene of police officers or news cameras, just the regular old boring people who spend their Saturday evening’s shopping at Walmart rather than doing anything culturally enriching, people like us. I’ve got to ask because multiple people have told me that it’s weird that I do the grocery shopping every week with my wife. Is this something that husbands don’t typically do? I’m probably not going to stop any time soon because I actually like going to the grocery store, although I have to admit that sometimes I don’t love how long it takes to pick out a jar of peanut butter. I just found it surprising that my going to the store with my wife was out of the ordinary so if all of the married people out there would please weigh in on this topic, I would greatly appreciate it.

It’s truly amazing the things that I see at Walmart, but what is even more amazing to me than what I witness is that people act like fools for anybody to see and don’t seem to care about it. While we were getting dog food I heard a woman behind me say “be careful, you’re going to hurt yourself.” I don’t know what words trigger your interest, but when somebody is at risk of hurting themselves, it is an absolute must see for me, so I turned around to witness a person standing on three stacked up boxes of kitty litter, a sort of redneck stepladder, reaching to get something from the top shelf. The reason I referred to the idiot as a person rather than identifying his or her gender is because my wife and I couldn’t agree on which one it was. Secondly, this was a very large person, and ironically he or she was standing on a box that said “light weight” and was in turn crushing it beneath its excessive weight. I realize I’m not the picture of physical health and could stand to lose a few pounds, but this difference between me and this fool is I know my limitations and realize that standing on three boxes made of cardboard would be a terrible idea. If damaging the products wasn’t bad enough, after the person got what they wanted from the top shelf, they walked away, leaving the three boxes on the floor in the middle of the aisle, a completely shameful move which allowed me to snap a picture of the idiocy.

As my wife and I meandered our way through the produce section, we encountered yet another fool, only this time she was recognized as a woman and was doing her damage from the comfort of a motorized cart. I first took notice of her when I heard a loud thud signaling to everyone in the area that she had backed into the strawberry display. I watched her for a few minutes driving in circles, almost hitting me once, and bumping into various things, and all the while she was talking loudly on her cellphone. In all the time watching her, I stared intently at her, trying to see what injury might have given her a reason to be on the cart, but as far as I could tell, her only affliction was laziness. I think there is a good teaching moment here, so if you’ll indulge me for just a second more I would like to leave you with some advice; there are a lot of crazy people out there, make sure you are not one of them.

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