Last night my wife and decided to get our weekly grocery shopping over with. Normally we do it on Sunday’s, but today we’re going to visit my family in Arkansas for the Easter holiday, and didn’t want to have to worry about going to the store when we returned home tomorrow afternoon, because for us, grocery shopping is an arduous process involving multiple hours and multiple stores. I’m not really sure why, but I just go along and try not to complain too much. We left the apartment at seven, and by eight o’clock I was standing in front of the deli counter at Walmart, to get some lunch meat, one of the few remaining items on the shopping list. An employee approached the counter and I told him wanted I wanted, a pound of the smoked ham, pretty straight forward if I may say so myself. He said something inaudible, but I figured he was asking how thick I wanted it sliced, a question I’m asked every week, so I gave my answer, and again the employee muttered something, so I guess I must’ve misheard him. I thought maybe he didn’t hear what I had said so I repeated, “one pound of the smoked ham” and in an attempt to make sure he understood me, I pointed at the product that I wanted.
He looked at me and said the same words again, but still I had no idea what he was saying. “Excuse me?” I asked, feeling like an idiot for having this guy repeat the same thing over and over to me. He said it once more and finally I made out the words. “We’re closed.” I walked back over to my wife who was checking out the abysmal selection of sweet potatoes, trying to convince herself to take one of the disgusting looking spuds, when I told her that the deli was closed. Without missing a beat she suggested we go to Kroger, eager to find some better looking sweet potatoes, so we added a fourth store to our grocery rotation, and backtracked all the way back to Kroger.
The good news is that the sweet potatoes happened to be on sale for thirty-nine cents a pound, and there was an enormous selection to choose from. The bad news is that when we rang them up at the self checkout, we were charged a dollar and ninety-nine cents a pound. Me being the con confrontational and impatient person that I am was all for paying the higher price and getting out of grocery number three as quickly as possible, but my wife was not about to spend so much for just two sweet potatoes. She voided the item on the self checkout screen and of course we had to wait for an attendant to come over and put in her little code and to make sure we weren’t trying to pull a fast one over on them by stealing the item we were pretending to void. I explained to the employee that we must have put in the wrong code because the sweet potatoes ended up being more expensive than advertised. Actually, we were told, we had indeed put in the right code, but for some reason that particular item was ringing up incorrectly, so she had to manually enter the correct price. It’s too bad we weren’t at Publix because if an item is more expensive than the sign says, you get it for free, but I was just happy to get the weekly soul sucking grocery shopping trip behind me. Now I can relax and enjoy my weekend.