I used to be able to fall asleep so easily. My dad used to say that he could hear me snoring almost the minute after I’d gone to bed, and while I still snore, which is unfortunate for anyone living in my apartment complex, it takes me so long to fall asleep now. Over the years the only thing that I’ve found helps me go to sleep quickly is waking up early that morning, and for a while I did that, getting up at six o’clock each day and it became something I enjoyed doing because of how productive I was able to be at the start of my day, but that was when I had a job that didn’t require me to be there before nine at the earliest. Now that I’m working at a bank and I have to be there at eight each day, I can’t drag myself out of bed before 6:45 and even then I don’t hop out of bed to greet the day the way I used to. On my days off, however, I’m able to get up even earlier. I suppose not having to go to work is enough incentive for me to wake up and start my day.
On most nights I am in bed before eleven, but my night is far from over. First I lay on my back, listening to the fan and the sounds of my wife sleeping soundly right beside me, jealous of how easily sleep comes for her. I then roll to my side where I stay awake listening to the same sounds and trying to shut off my brain that is constantly running. After a while I lie on my stomach, my face buried into the pillow, perhaps believing that if my eyes are buried in darkness I can trick myself into falling asleep, but that doesn’t work either. I look at my phone, and almost every night I am still awake after midnight, and then I go back to lying on my back and at some point drift off to sleep. Maybe there’s something about seeing that I’ve lived to see another day that allows my body to shut off after midnight, but whatever the reason, I’m just happy that at last I’m able to go to sleep.
I hate sleep, I really do, unless of course I’m taking a nap during the day, something I do on most days when I don’t have to work. For me, sleep is an unwelcome chore, a necessity that I have to do, but if there was a way to avoid it, then I would certainly opt for that option. In my waking hours, when I’m not working, I like to be productive, and do the things that I want to do, but sleeping for me feels like a waste of time. If anyone reading this can create a pill that will allow me to be awake twenty-four hours a day, I would gladly shell out a sizable portion of my paycheck each week for that luxury. Let me make you rich. Get to work.