The Haircut


IMG_3564I’ve been talking a lot about whether or not to get a haircut lately, and I’m sure you’re probably getting tired of reading about it, but it’s literally the most important thing going on in my life right now, so if you would indulge me just once more, I’ve got a story to tell. Yesterday started off to be a pretty good day with thunderstorms, but then things went south starting with the dogs running out of the apartment into the rain where I had to chase them. Not long after that our electricity went out, and stayed out for multiple hours. I wrote a little bit and read some of my book, but when I got tired of doing those things I decided it was time to get out of the house for a little while. My wife arrived home from work early, her shift cut short by the storms, and we went to Walmart to do our grocery shopping for the week. Apparently the electricity had gone out there as well, so we had to stand outside for more than twenty minutes, waiting for them to reopen, and when they did, my wife got the food and I got a haircut. Walmart really does have everything. I don’t love getting my haircut at the grocery store because something seems fundamentally wrong with having all that loose hair in the same place where you buy food, but that is generally where I go for haircuts. I don’t go to a traditional salon, because I hate making appointments. I’m the kind of person who does something spur of the moment and I know that if I schedule a haircut a week or a few days in advance, there’s a good chance that once the day arrives I won’t feel like going, so that leaves me with having to go somewhere where I can walk-in and get my hair cut immediately.

I’ve gone to Sport Clips before, but my wife says it’s a sexist institution, which is a valid point, so now I go to Walmart. The stylist asked me how I wanted my hair to be cut, which was a question I knew would come, but had no idea how to answer. Generally I get a buzz cut, that way I’ve got a solid six to nine months before I need another haircut, but I really don’t like that style and wanted to go with a more traditional option this time around. I’d spent too much time googling haircuts so I could try to find something that I could show to the person to copy on my head, not that I was too confident my hair would turn out anything like the picture. One time I took in a picture of Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl and said I wanted to look like that, and unfortunately when she was done, I looked nothing like my hero. Most of the pictures I found were of women, and the men I saw had hairstyles that I had zero confidence that I could pull off, so when presented with the question, I just asked her what she would recommend for someone such as myself, and so it began.

It only took about twenty minutes of snipping around my ears and shortening the length in the back of my head, and when she was finished I told her I liked it, which to be quite honest was a lie. Maybe it’s not horrible, but I rarely like how my hair looks post haircut, so I didn’t hold it against the stylist. Maybe I’ll like it better in at a later time, or maybe I won’t, but it doesn’t really matter either way, because the deed is done now. No matter how bad it looks, I can at least take solace in the fact that nobody at work can tell me I have a mullet anymore, and really that is the most important thing.



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