Have you ever been walking down one of the frozen food aisles of the grocery store, minding your own business while you browse the selection of frozen waffles, trying to decide whether to get blueberry or chocolate chip, thinking how much better your life would be at the very moment if you’d been to culinary school and knew how to make waffles from scratch and didn’t have to rely on the food packaging experts at Eggo to bring you the delicious breakfast that you so desperately want, nay, deserve? As you look through the foggy glass trying to come to terms with the horrible decisions that have brought you this moment in your life, you see, out of the corner of your eye, a man in a suit slowly approaching you. He’s talking quietly into a cellphone but you get the distinct feeling that he’s talking about you. Soon your suspicions are confirmed as he, standing directly beside you now, reaches into the waistband of his black pants and pulls out a gun. What do you do?
If you haven’t found yourself planning for this scenario or at least being aware of the suspicious looking people around you, then chances are, you probably haven’t watched “Burn Notice.” It’s the story of Michael Westin, a former US spy who got burned, or blacklisted, in the middle of one of his jobs, meaning he couldn’t work as a spy anymore. Throughout the seven seasons of the show, which is available on Netflix and you should go watch immediately, he tries to track down the person who got him burned with the help of his ex-girlfriend, who has a passion for guns and making things explode, and his best friend. Not an episode goes by where they don’t find themselves in a dangerous situation, usually someone trying to kill them forcing them to make an incredible escape. I’ve never been one for action movies, thinking that a lot of them lack the substance to keep me interested, but “Burn Notice” has great plot lines every episode that will have you hooked from the very start, however I have noticed a very strange effect that seems to come from watching the show. In virtually every situation I’m in, I think about what I would do, how I would protect myself if someone were trying to kill me.
In the case of the man in the suit approaching me at the grocery store, I would swing open the freezer door, slamming it into his face, knocking him backwards and catching off guard. By the time he regained his composure and steadied his gun on me I would be rounding the corner of the aisle out of sight, or if he got the shot off quicker than expected, I would still have the open door between him and me, and hopefully that would provide me with some kind of protection. At the movie theater concession stand, if someone tried to grab me from behind, I would aim twist the nozzle in the hot butter towards my face and press the pump, ducking out of the way just in time so that he gets an eyeful of burning hot liquid, stunning him just long enough so I would have time to make my escape. My mind is working like this everywhere I go, so if nothing else, watching “Burn Notice” is guaranteed to bring excitement even to the most mundane activities in your daily life.