I’ve only been in two car wrecks in my entire life, and they couldn’t have been more different. The only commonality between the two is that I was a passenger both times, so through nearly twenty-six years of my life, I haven’t wrecked a car, which of course means that now I’m bound to do so any day now, since I’ve made that information public, jinxing myself, but I suppose it has to happen someday. The first time was when I was probably eight or nine years old. My dad was visiting me in Little Rock on a Saturday, and we were about to go eat lunch before going to my soccer game. As was usually the case when my dad was in town, I got to pick where to eat, but since we we had somewhere to be shortly after lunch, we couldn’t spend the afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese, so I chose my favorite fast food restaurant, KFC, which my dad affectionately called “Kentucky Fried Crap” or “Krappy Fried Chicken” but I loved their mashed potatoes, so I didn’t let the name calling bother me.
On the way to KFC we got into a car accident. We were both okay, and this being in the era before cell phones, my dad knocked on the door of the nearest house to borrow the phone, making two calls, one to the police, and one to my mom. The only thing I remember about the house where the call was made, is that the woman who lived there gave me a mini snickers bar, which turned out to be the highlight of the day. My mom arrived shortly after to take me to my soccer game, and since too much time had passed waiting for her to pick me up, we didn’t have time to go to KFC, but had to get lunch at a place on the way to the game, which ended up being McDonald’s, so I didn’t get my beloved mashed potatoes, and there’s a good chance that I probably cried at my misfortune.
A few years later, when I was sixteen, my mom and I got rear ended getting off the interstate. I hurt my back, so I was able to sit out the first month of summer football workouts, so it all worked out for the best. I hated playing football, and there was nothing worse than wasting a day out of school in the scorching summer heat running wind sprints and hating my life, so I was more than happy with experiencing spasms in my lower back if it meant not having to go to the workouts. The first car accident ended in me not getting something I wanted, but the second one got me out of football, so I guess everything evened out. Hopefully, if I’m ever in another one, it will happen on the way to work rather than on the way to eat, that way at least I’ll be able to take solace in the fact that I’m missing out on something I’m not really looking forward to anyway.