I don’t know where you live, but where I live, in Memphis, Tennessee, we are expected to get quite a bit of winter weather tomorrow morning. I just checked my weather app and it’s saying that there will be some mixed winter precipitation in the early morning hours that will be followed by 1 to 3 inches of snow as the morning progresses, and I couldn’t be more excited. It seems like a lot of people are down on snow, especially adults since the days of skipping school because of snow are far behind us, but for me, I still get that feeling of magical excitement I used to feel as a kid when I would wake up when it was still dark and run to the kitchen to turn on the light overlooking the backyard and seeing that blanket of white while giant fluffy snowflakes cascaded down from the sky. While snow days are great and filled with wonder and beauty, there are still some tips you should keep in mind to make sure that the winter weather won’t affect you in a negative way, so I wanted to share with you some helpful advice to get you through tomorrow should the snow come down in your area.
For a lot of people, driving is a huge concern when it comes to winter weather. We have all seen the horror stories on the news of cars in ditches or stranded along the side of the highway because the weather was too much for them to handle, but that’s good news for the rest of us, because the majority of the people are going to be too scared to get out on the roads, giving us an ideal society where morning traffic does not exist. You might be thinking to yourself that you should probably leave extra early for work, that is if you aren’t too scared to get out on the icy roads in the first place, to give yourself ample time to brave the dangerous roads to make it to the office on time, but there’s no need for that. You can actually leave later than you normally would, because without traffic, the road will be yours, plus the ice will have your car slipping and sliding down the road at breakneck speeds and you will get to your destination more quickly than normal.
It should go without saying that winter weather means that the temperatures are going to be extremely cold, so you’ll likely need to take additional measures to keep your home warm, because snow days are only fun, if you can come in from the cold and warm up. In preparation for this, it is advisable that you go ahead an increase your insurance coverage to pay for the fire that will likely devour your home in an attempt to keep you and your loved ones warm. You may think my scenario is extreme, but trust me, when you’re out of firewood and anything else that will fit into the fireplace, and you have to choose between your family freezing to death or lighting the couch on fire, you’d be stupid not to choose the latter. Prepare yourself. Up the insurance.
Lastly, and most importantly, don’t murder anyone on a snow day. As a rule of thumb, you shouldn’t kill anybody anyway, but it would be particularly unadvisable on a day like tomorrow, because the weather completely eliminates all the good ways to dispose of a body. Bury it? The ground will be frozen solid, so good luck with that. What about the ever popular disposal method of dumping the body in the lake? The temperature will be below freezing all day, which means that all the lakes and ponds in the area will be frozen over, and I’m no homicide detective, but I think a body shaped hole in the ice will be fairly easy to spot, so make getting away with it easier on yourself, and wait until the weather is more cooperative. You know what, on second thought, just don’t kill anyone ever; it’s a really terrible thing to do.
Hopefully my advice will lead to a problem free and enjoyable snow day that you can look back on fondly for years to come. Pass this along to all of your friends and loved ones, so they can make sure to have a good day too.