I hope you’re having a good day, but even if you’re not, it’s about to turn around, because I’m going to share with you some top secret classified information that will hopefully change your life. Okay, I’m not actually one hundred percent sure that it’s top secret classified information, but I think the likelihood is pretty good since it seems like I’m the only person who knows about it. But I’m a generous man, and I want to let you in on the secret, because not to overstate things, but the fate of the world and all of mankind probably is reliant upon being properly educated on the subject of honking responsibilities. Without knowing your honking responsibilities and acting accordingly, chaos ensues.
A fairly common and frustrating occurrence takes place on a two lane road, and if you’re anything like me, improper handling of the situation drives you crazy. Yesterday I was driving on such a road with three cars in front of me, with a quickly growing line of cars behind me due to the speed of the first car in line. The speed limit on that particular road is 40 mph, however I was risking running into the vehicle in front of me at 30 mph, so to keep pace with the motorized turtles in front of me, my speedometer had to hover somewhere between 25 and 30. I can understand going slightly slower if it was raining or snowing, but yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day and there was nothing on the road to prevent anyone from going the speed limit except for this one driver. As we crept forward at an annoyingly slow pace, the frustration began to set in as no action was taken. My wife, who is normally as cool as a jar of refrigerated mayonnaise in most every situation, proclaimed “Come on!” which validated my own feelings of anguish towards the driver of the third car ahead.
The situation could have been easily rectified had the drivers in front of me exercised their responsibilities of honking. Ultimately the driver at the front of the line is responsible for being a good citizen of the road and at least go the speed limit so as not to hinder or impede upon the time of the drivers behind them, but once it’s clear that they are unable or unwilling to perform the very elementary tasks expected of them, then the responsibility of honking falls to the driver in the second car. There’s no need to be rude and lay on the horn for multiple as the sounds of a distressed saxophone fills the air, but just a short tap of the horn is all that is needed, because you’re not trying to scare the driver or make them feel stupid, but just to alert them, to shake them out of their trance and bring them back down to earth where they should start driving like a normal human being instead of like a hard shelled reptile.
Ideally a single beep of the horn will do the trick, but sadly it’s not the remedy for every driver, which is when the honking responsibilities are increased. Try two quick beeps, and if there still isn’t an improvement made by the first car in line, then it’s time to stop being so gentle and passive, and while I said earlier that you don’t have to lay on your horn and be rude, at this point it is encouraged and absolutely necessary, because if you don’t do your due diligence as the car responsible for honking, then you assume the responsibility of the first car, and everyone will hate you because now it is you who is being rude by allowing this despicable behavior to continue.