I thought I would change up the blog a little bit today. You know how I’m always positive and upbeat and never talk bad about anything? Well today I was driving to work, listening to the radio like I normally do between 7:30 and 8, and I heard a commercial that I’ve heard almost every week day for the past month or so, but I guess this time was one too many, and I just snapped. I didn’t do anything crazy like start honking my horn over and over again or rear end the car in front of me because I just couldn’t help myself, but I did yell at the radio, telling it to shut up. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up you stupid idiot!”, I yelled to the moron in the commercial that I found out just this morning that I loathe with every fiber of my being. I guess I should probably explain.
So the commercial is for Optima Tax Relief, a company that hopefully you’ve never heard of, because there’s only two ways to hear about Optima, through the idiotic commercials, or if you need to use their services. Now they might have regal tax filing people like H&R Block, but they don’t advertise these services in the commercials. They do however talk about how they’ve gotten countless people out of hot water with the IRS, basically bragging that if you get caught doing something illegal with your money, call them and they can take care of it for you. I can’t imagine the kind of person that would work at this place, who’s slogan could basically be, “How to Get Away with Tax Fraud.” I can’t believe that these people actually advertise on the radio, like shouldn’t they only be able to be found in an empty parking garage at like one in the morning like other shady business people?
The worst part of the commercial is when they bring in a guy to tell his personal story of tax problems and how Optima Tax Relief saved him, and it is very sickening. They’re all so very nonchalant about it in the commercial, and the guy literally laughs off the fact that he almost went to jail. He says something about how he was headed for prison, and then he found out about Optima Tax Relief and they saved him, and then chuckles like this was just a game of Chutes and Ladders and he almost landed on a chute. Then the guy goes on to talk about how simple it was to get help from these people, and that’s when he said “it’s as easy as….uhh….one,two,three”, and he says those numbers really fast at the end after the pause in the middle, like he was trying to think of the perfect analogy, and then it came to him so he needed to spit it out as fast as he could before he forgot it. That’s why I started yelling, that moment where he says it’s easy as uh, one, two three, is just infuriating to me because, one, he sounds like an idiot, and two because he’s making light of a very serious situation. I don’t think I have ever felt so strongly about a commercial before, let alone one that’s on the radio, but I can’t stand Optima Tax Relief or the slimy crooks in their commercials, so just do the right thing and pay your taxes so I don’t have to hear your voice on the way to work and passionately hate you and your situation with the IRS.